The men of my past.

There are a few reasons that I’ve been thinking of the men of my past recently. Mainly, because one of my old ‘flames’ has decided to start texting again after 3.5 years of no contact.

No, I am not joking.

Of course I no longer have his number in my phone, but I was able to figure out who it was immediately.

Anyway, I’m happily married and he’s still texting women he hung out with in 2009, so I win.

(If you say this sort of thing isn’t a game/competition, we can agree to disagree. I am competitive by nature and turn everything into a competition).

Gratuitous wedding picture… Posted because I just found this and I have so many questions. Like what were we laughing at? Why is our groomsman grabbing his crotch? Why does my maid of honor appear to be 3 feet tall?

And then over the weekend I also went through some mixed CDs from girlfriends called ‘UGH, men!’ and other assorted names of that nature. The CDs were made and gifted to me right around the time I met the (current) Husband, and needless to say, I guess I wasn’t too happy with  men at the time and my friends decided to cheer me up with angry music.

Friends are the best.

And I love a good mixed CD! (Yep, I still listen to them).

Well, these incidents reminded me of why I’m so, so thankful that I’m married, and also prompted me to think of some of the more ‘interesting’ men of my past who I got to know, however briefly, in my single days:

Like… (in no particular order)

  • The guy who dressed me up in Saudi Arabian garb during the first date. Or maybe the second. I guess he was/is some sort of undercover agent for some government agency and so he suggested I try on his ‘uniform’. I really wish I had taken a picture. I was fairly confused/horrified at the time. Also, he never did tell me what he did and now he’s marrying a girl from my high school. Do you know how weird it is to see on Facebook that a man you met online (and briefly dated) is marrying a girl who you know? It’s weird.
  • The older client.
  • The guy who didn’t own a TV. That alone was confusing and suspicious, even for me – as someone who almost never watches it!
  • The felon who spent quite a few years in jail for attempted murder and showed me his mugshot one of the first few times we hung out.
  • The rich but super-cheap guy.
  • The guy I met in Vegas who I thought was 28 but turned out to be 40. Oops.
  • The professional athlete from New York.
  • My first love in college.
  • The coworker(s).
  • The guy who told me Pizza Hut is his favorite restaurant. I mean, I can appreciate a good pizza, but we live in Chicago! Pizza Hut is not even in my list of top 10 places, buddy.
  • The guy who only called me when he was at work, so I quickly became convinced he must be either married or an axe murderer.
  • The token jealous guy who hated every other guy I ever talked to.
  • The Aries I met while I was studying abroad. (An Aries should never date another Aries. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!)
  • The man with the ego who thought it was awesome to keep telling me how other girls were checking him out, constantly. Uh-huh.
  • The blind date who happened to have the same birthday as me. Can you imagine having the same birthday as a significant other?! That was a sure sign that this guy wasn’t dating material.
  • The guy who lived abroad for the Army.
  • The PE teacher / personal trainer. The chef. The pilot. The fireman. The struggling actor. The lawyer. The Hipster. I was an equal opportunity dater.

Basically, if you can name a type of guy, I probably met and at least went on one date with him. Ohhhh internet dating is a wonderful thing. Although, most of these guys I actually met through my normal daily activities. 

And then one fateful day, while I was bored at work, I met a guy online who seemed way too nice for me, but I challenged myself to go out with him anyway. 

And we hit it off.

And the rest is history.

(I’m jumping for joy because I found Mr. Right!)

So the point of all of this is: dating is a process! 

And if I had a blog before 2010 (actually, I did, but I deleted it as soon as I met the Husband and realized he may find it and get mad at me) you would have heard all about these stories in way too much detail. 

Sure, people say the past is the past and it doesn’t really matter, but I think it does! The past has definitely formed who I am today, failed dates and disappointments and all.

My history is complicated and the Husband’s past is, too.

And we both agree that sometimes you just have to meet a bunch of crazies before you find the right person. Although, admittedly, I wish I had met a few more ‘normal’ people, too.

I figure it’s all odds, really. If you date enough people, you have a better chance of finding your perfect match! At least that’s what I told myself while I was wondering what the heck I was doing with my life after going out with yet another ‘Mr. Wrong’.

It worked for me, at least!

… And after all the drama, and her friends threatening to stop listening to her crazy drama bullshit, she lived happily ever after.

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