Conversation #1

Me: Ughhhh this pre-baby body is so different. I’ve completely lost my butt.

What I wanted Tim to say: You look great, babe! You’ve never looked better. In fact, you look perfect! But maybe you should buy new clothes that show off your hot bod a bit better.

Tim: Oh wow, you’re right! You did lose your butt! Those pants are way too loose on you – look at how they’re sagging! You look like one of those high schoolers with their pants hanging below their butts. That’s hilarious!

Conversation #2

Me: Clara, say ‘ma-ma-ma-ma’.

What I wanted Clara to say: Ma-ma!

Clara: Da-da-da-da.

Me: Close… ‘ma-ma’

Clara: Da-da!

It would probably be better for everyone if I went into these conversations without any expectations.