I feel like I’ve been writing a lot about my life lately. This is mainly because this whole mom thing is so new and fascinating to me. But I think another part of me can’t believe that this is really my life.
The other evening Tim and I were on our first (stroller) walk with Clara and Ozzie, and we started discussing how much our lives have changed in four years.
Four years ago…
- I was living alone (in the Lakeview neighborhood in Chicago) in an old, one-bedroom apartment.
- Like a true bachelore(tte), I had moldy strawberries in my refrigerator and a bottle of vodka on my counter and that pretty much summed up the consumable products in my kitchen.
- I was growing out my bangs and black hair into my current hair style. (Yeah… it was quite a phase I was in during 2010.)
- I was working in/commuting to Indiana as an IT Consultant and was busy studying for my CPA in my ‘free’ time.
- I was training for my second marathon and was going to the occasional boxing class.
- I was hanging out at Lollapalooza for three days with one of my best friends, who also happens to be named Lisa.
- I was on a much-needed break from online dating.
- But I was spending far too much time with men who were less-than-worthy of my attention.
- I was praying every night that I would meet my Mr. Right sooner, rather than later. And that this man would decide to marry me. And that we would have babies. I had no idea what this man would be like, but luckily God knows my heart better than I do and would soon deliver Tim straight to my internet browsing window.
- Actually, at this time four years ago, I was less than a month from the beginning of the rest of my life, and I had no freakin’ idea. It’s probably a good thing I didn’t know how committed I was about to become, because had I known this, I probably would have attempted to ‘live it up’ all summer, which would not have been a good idea, believe me.
- I was 24 and feeling rather old. (Strangely enough, four years later I still feel like 24 and 28 are pretty much the same age. I might be in denial.) I was becoming convinced I was never going to get married by 30, and I considered getting married essential to my life plans.
Basically, four years ago I had a lot of anxiety about my life and where it was going. I wasn’t in my dream career, I was single without many of my close girlfriends nearby, I hated spending any time alone, and I was searching for a lot of meaning in my life (in all the wrong places).
But here’s the thing… life can change in an instant. And it can drastically change over the course of a lot of instants. During the summer in 2010, I had no idea that my single days were numbered. And I certainly wasn’t anticipating that in about two years I’d be married and in four years I’d be a mom. I actually never even considered that it would be that ‘easy’ to fulfill my life dreams. Because yes, as old-fashioned as it may sound, I have always dreamed of becoming a wife and a mother, and four years ago I was seriously concerned that these dreams would never be realized.
So when Tim and I were on our walk and discussing the question ‘four years ago, before we met, did you ever dream that this would be your life in only four years?’ both of our answers were ‘nope!’ Of course, I was optimistic about the future and I knew that God had a plan for me, but I was afraid that God’s plan would be really different from my own plan for myself. Thankfully, this turned out not to be the case.
I guess my point is that I wish I hadn’t spent any time then worrying about my future, which is now my present. Although four years sounds like a long time, it passed by in a blur of (mostly) happiness. And now I’m sitting here, writing this post with only my left hand (it’s been taking a loooooong time to type this) because I have a snoring little girl asleep on my chest.
I’m truly amazed at the changes that can happen in four short years and I cannot wait to see what the next four will bring.
Where were you four years ago? Where do you want to be four years from now?