Maybe I don’t actually know myself as well as I thought I did.

I had a revelation today.

I forget what I read or heard that caused this revelation, but it definitely made an impact.

OK, this is going to sound obvious, because it is – but this idea really made me stop and think, so I thought I’d share it with you.

Putting it in a graphic makes it seems more official, doesn’t it?!

I don’t know why this suddenly occurred to me, but I find it to be very freeing.

Just because I was a procrastinator yesterday (and maybe am also procrastinating today), doesn’t mean I need to continue to be a procrastinator in the future.

Even though yesterday I wasn’t the type of person who reached out to make plans with friends, there is nothing that says I can’t be that type of person today or maybe tomorrow or the next day.

Maybe (definitely) in the past there were some household tasks I hated doing. I mean, I might still hate them tomorrow, but I could also try them again with a neutral attitude and become the type of person who maybe doesn’t hate them as much as I thought. I might still hate them, but it’s not a guarantee!

For the past 28 years I may have survived on processed foods, but there is nothing stopping me from eating better going forward.

I mean, these are just a few lame examples, but you get the picture. 

I’m the type of person who always thinks about self-improvement and all of that stuff. I read the books, I love the quotes, etc. I’m a self-analyzer and criticizer above all else! (And I know that this isn’t always a good thing.) But I guess I always see my possibilities in terms of what I am or what I have been and not necessarily as what I can be if I consider myself a clean slate every day.

I limit myself because I think I know who I am. and I want to remain consistent.

How awesome is it that I can reinvent myself! 

Even if other people expect me to be a certain way because of how I’ve acted before, I can still be different in a new, present situation. Even if I expect myself to act or think a certain way, it doesn’t mean that’s the way I need to be. 

I understand that it’s easier said than done and old habits die hard and there’s a reason we are who we are. And consistency is also comforting, not just for ourselves, but for people around us. It would be confusing if people changed constantly, and we probably wouldn’t trust them! But today I did a few things that I wouldn’t normally do, and I felt great about it.

I texted a new friend to hang out when I normally would have waited for them to reach out to me.

I did a few household ‘chores’ that Tim would usually take care of (and I did it with the attitude that maybe I’m not as non-domestic as I like to say I am).

I took a walk in the sunshine instead of sitting on the couch like I have been all week.

No, none of these things were a big deal. It’s not like I was a smoker yesterday and decided not to be today – I mean, that sort of thing is a HUGE change. I’m talking about the small things in life that I manage to talk myself out of doing based on who I say I am. I’m the type of person who waits for people to contact her. I’m not domestic. I like sitting at home with Clara because I’m intimidated to go out. I’m still figuring out who I am and I’m going to try to give myself the chance to recreate a new and better version of myself each day.


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