For those of you who were a bit concerned, don’t worry, I did in fact survive yesterday (also known ‘the day after the Hawks won the Stanley Cup.)
While I was in recovery mode (I wasn’t hungover, just tired) with a glass of wine, I was thinking about the many adventures I’ve had while under the influence of a beverage or two. And through my little walk down memory lane, I came to the realization that although drinking impairs certain skills of mine, it does help me in some areas. Of course I decided I needed to blog about my thoughts, so without further ado I give you…
Things I’m great at after a drink (or two) of the alcoholic variety:
>> DTR chats. For those of you who don’t know, DTR stands for ‘Define the Relationship.’ Now normally my single self avoided those types of talks at all costs, but after a few drinks, I would become convinced that it was the perfect time (while on the dance floor of a crowded house party) to demand answers about what our ‘relationship’ actually was. And now I’m married, so I guess that actually worked out.
I wonder why he didn’t take me seriously in this outfit? And yes, this is the exact night I decided to bring up our ‘relationship status’
>> Playing pool. I am never, ever good at pool. But one night at a work event, after a few shots, I managed to practically clear the table. Everyone came over to watch and it was quite the event! I refuse to play again, since I prefer to end my pool shark career on a high note.
>> Reconnecting. If I haven’t talked to you in quite a while, but I still have your number in my phone, there’s a good chance I will feel the intense urge to reconnect with you after a few (too many) beers. It’s almost like it becomes my sole goal to rekindle friendships of every person I’ve ever met.
>> Painting my nails. This is not actually true, because really I only think I’m good at painting my nails, but the fact remains that for whatever reason, the artistic side of me comes out while I’m lounging around drinking wine and watching reality TV.
<< Making duck faces. This requires no explanation.
This beautiful picture was from 6 years ago! Whooooa…..
>> Dancing. I mean, obviously. I have pretty great moves when I’m sober, but after I’ve thrown back a few… watch out. I especially love anything that involves getting low or throwing my hands up in the air.
>> Talking about my sex life. I don’t even want to go into this, but basically after a few drinks I not so suddenly become queen of the over-share with whoever is around, and I end up disclosing information that should never be told to anyone, possibly ever. When I was on our first date with my now-husband, I had two martinis and started talking about who-the-hell knows what (I do know what, but I won’t share it here) and we still bring up how it’s amazing we ever went on a second date. Live and learn.
>> Making best friends. This especially applies to people who have no interest in actually being my friend. Take for instance my husband’s ex-girlfriend.. I never, ever wanted to meet her (EVER) but there she was at a bar one night. I recognized her from old pictures and immediately decided we should be besties. I went right up to her and proclaimed that she MUST be so-and-so and then asked her all about herself. I genuinely thought we were going to be friends for life. She either thought I was the friendliest person alive or absolutely bat-shit-crazy. I guess I’ll never know. (We did not remain besties after that night, sadly enough.)
>> Taking shots. Normally I cannot take shots without a straw, because I’m just high maintenance like that. However, if I’ve already started the night off with a few rounds of drinks, I can suddenly take shots like a champion.
>> Eating pizza and other greasy foods. There is not much that can keep me away from a slice of pizza at 2am after a night of beer. But everyone knows that drunk calories don’t count, so I never regret these decisions. Hangover prevention, right there.
I feel like I should put a disclaimer on here that says I am not encouraging drinking, especially in excess, especially if it will cause you to make duck faces.
But I won’t, because you all know that, and it seems like a very old-ladyish thing to do.
Cheers, it’s hump day!
