If there is one trait I absolutely love about the Husband (okay, there is more than one trait, but if I had to choose one) it would be that he is endlessly supportive of me.
Like, I cannot even imagine being as supportive of him as he is to me, and I’m definitely his biggest cheerleader!
There have been many times over the past few years when his support has been very apparent, but it could not have been clearer than it has been over the past few months.
My entire life looks differently now than it did 6 months ago, and therefore our marriage is different as well.
As you probably know, I was laid off from my job about 4 months ago.
This, of course, led to a substantial decrease in our household income.
It also drastically changed our schedules. I’m home all of the time and am pretty much a full-time dog walker to Ozzie.
This is what Oz does all day long. You can see that he’s quite a handful.
However, I do not love being a housewife and staying at home (especially sans children) was never a part of my ‘plan’ (which of course, I made and God laughed at). There is no part of me that enjoys chores. While I don’t mind occasionally picking up the house or organizing a few things or baking a batch of cupcakes, I don’t enjoy spending hours and hours every single day making sure the house is spotless and errands are run and dinner is on the table at 6 o’clock.
So, I usually don’t do a lot of these tasks (or at least I don’t do them as often as I imagine other housewives do).
Instead, I spend my days blogging, catching up with friends, washing the dishes and keeping the kitchen clean, going to CrossFit, doing a load of laundry every few days, walking Ozzie while listening to Spanish podcasts, and watching Ellen and Judge Judy. I also spend a fair amount of time in prayer and self-reflection and reading (but not as often as I would like).
Sometimes I even apply for a job (or two) but that has slowed down as I wait for the results of some recent interviews. I must admit, the job searching process is taking waaaaay longer than I imagined it would take.
Basically, I’m able to do whatever I want, whenever I want. And I kind of sort of love it sometimes… even though I definitely want to get back to work sooner rather than later.
But the point is, I feel beyond blessed to have a husband who does not make me feel badly about being unemployed or not using my days to endlessly job search.
Actually, the Husband has never once pressured me to find a new place of employment, even though he would have every right and prerogative to discuss the impacts of my unemployment on our little family.
He has yet to mention any sort of financial implications of me not having a job. (I think he knows that my accounting/finance brain is already stressed about this one.)
He still does 100% of the grocery shopping because I hate, hate, hate the grocery store and pretty much refuse to go. And he does it without making any comments about how I’m home all day and have more time to spend on errands.
He also is very, very supportive in me finding a job I love, instead of finding a job that will earn us a few (thousand) extra dollars each year.
And for all of these things, I am beyond thankful.
I am already a high-strung and anxious person when it comes to me failing at something – and of course I consider my inability to find a job a failure (even though I know in my heart that it’s more a matter of the right opportunity not finding me yet along with God’s timing at work). Given these negative feelings I’m already predisposed to, if the Husband took it upon himself to ask about my job applying and productivity each day – I’d probably go crazy.
However, he doesn’t. And he also doesn’t expect me to be a perfect housewife – because he knows that’s not who I am and it’s not what makes me happy.
So I definitely do a larger share of the housework than I ever did before. But the Husband also (still) takes out the garbage, does the grocery shopping, makes the occasional dinner, and even throws in a load of laundry every once in a while.
And it works for us.
I’m happy and and he’s happy.
He loves his job and going to work (most days) and I’m working on being at peace in my new role in our family.
Hopefully, I’ll find a job soon and things will return back to our version of ‘normal’, but until that time, there’s no one I’d rather have by my side at this particular junction in our lives than my wonderful husband.
The reason I’m sharing all of this is not to say my husband is the best husband ever (although, of course he’s my perfect match), but I’m sharing this because his unending support consistently convicts me and my (sometimes) failure in being as supportive to him or to others in my life.
I think that support from loved ones is easy to overlook, because we think we deserve it or because we think that a spouse or close friend/family member should support us in everything that we do. And I’ve found that it’s not always easy to give support when we can’t relate to a person or what they are going to. I, personally, struggle with this.
I want to be (and am working on becoming) a more supportive wife, family member, and friend because I know what a difference it can make.
I also want to give a little nod to all of you who are already great supporters and encouragers. The world is a better and more stress-free place because you are in it! I want to acknowledge that it’s sometimes difficult to be supportive of others, but it makes a huge difference in people’s lives to know that they have a cheerleader in their corner.
And for those of us who are working at being better at supporting others, I’ve found that sometimes a little empathy and patience can go a long way!
Who is your biggest cheerleader? Is it your mom, best friend, spouse, or someone else?
Cheers! (and linking up with Amberly!)