My thoughts are cluttering my brain.

I’m having one of those days when I just have so many things to SAY and none of them are a real blog post so I’m just going to let you know my thoughts right-at-this-very-second so you can appreciate the clutter that is my mind lately.

 

 

Thoughts I’ve Thought This Week: (Basically, what I’ve written about on Twitter).

 

// I think I’m doing this ‘life’ thing all wrong. Like, why did I get married without first trying to get on every single reality TV show I possibly could? I mean, never-mind the fact that I’m not sure I really want to be on TV, but seriously, I could have gotten free stuff! One of my girlfriends was on ‘I Found The Gown’ and I was instantly all like “WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT?! I MISSED MY 15 MINUTES OF FAME!!!” Although, to be fair, I was surprised that she didn’t get a free dress from the show. Actually, I think she only got like $100. But still, those memories would have been recorded forever.

// So I guess Kim K. is engaged and I think I read somewhere that Kanye rented a stadium and had a 50 member orchestra doing SOMETHING and there were also fireworks and a bijillion-carat diamond ring… I honestly don’t remember all of the details because I only did a quick Google search on this and immediately felt nauseous and had to step away from the computer. I mean, what is her fourth husband going to do to top that?!

// And THEN I learned that Kris Jenner and Bruce have been split up for a year and I just find this mind-blowing. How did I not know about this?! Did no one know about this?! Aren’t they on a show together… like in the same house? Kardashian news is so confusing.

// The Husband and I just DO NOT agree on what constitutes an ’emergency’ in our house. For instance, we all remember the cable emergency of the other week. It was clearly an emergency, right?! The Husband does not agree. THEN yesterday I had a double emergency. 

Emergency #1: I came home from working out and was craving soup in a major way. It was crazy. So I needed to figure out whether to eat soup for lunch or dinner. Of course, I’m always thinking of the Husband’s needs, too (wife point for me!) so I frantically called him to see if he wanted soup. Now, to be fair, I didn’t really want to go out into the wilderness streets of Chicago to scavenge for soup buy soup at a local store by myself. So I basically called the Husband to beg him to bring me soup on his way back from work. BUT, I made it seem like I was asking if he wanted soup, so I couldn’t be accused of calling him in the middle of the day to tell him about random food cravings he cares nothing about. Anyway, it was all an emergency at the time because I REALLY thought I was going to die if I didn’t have soup within 6 hours. The Husband was not as sympathetic as I was hoping he’d be, but I did indeed get soup for dinner!

Emergency #2: A mere hour after I had my soup craving, I was about to turn on the TV to watch Jeopardy and realized, to my dismay, that the TV was on the wrong source and I couldn’t change it because THE REMOTE WAS GONE (we have three remotes and I couldn’t find the one I needed, of course)! I called the Husband and he didn’t pick up. I text him ‘EMERGENCY’ and no response. Evidently he was doing something “important” like leading a client meeting or something. Finally, after 15 minutes of searching I find the remote behind the TV. He told me later that he intentionally hid the remote because we don’t need it and he wants me to learn how to use the other remotes to do all of my TV magic tricks. WHO DOES THAT? 

// There is a push-up bra shirt thing for men to enhance their pecs! I feel like this is definitely cheating/misleading and if I were single I’d be furious at this invention. But wait, is this what men think about push-up bras?! Mind blown.

// The Husband and I went to get flu shots on Monday evening at our local Walgreens. One of the things about the flu shot that I never knew before is that it takes 2 weeks for the shot to become effective. I think they’re advertising this ‘fun fact’ because so many people claim to get sick from the flu shot. It turns out, people who get sick right after getting the shot were already exposed to the virus and the shot wasn’t effective yet. SO, get your flu shot earlier rather than later!

// On a related note, I went to CrossFit yesterday and this was a mistake. My body was achy and fevery and I basically felt like crap (side effects of the vaccine), but I always go to the gym on Tuesdays so away I went! Let me tell you, my left arm was so weak that I was lifting weights lopsided the entire day. Ouch, ouch, ouch. I also did so many weighted (55 lbs) front squats that I was afraid my butt was just going to fall off. In reality, I hope it gets bigger immediately because darn, that hurt!

// I swear that caffeine effects me in the exact same way that alcohol does. Let me tell you, one cup of coffee and I am telling endless life stories (about myself) and have almost no filter. It’s a little bit embarrassing but in kind of an awesome way because I feel on top of the world and at least I’m not in danger of blacking out or making poor life decisions on caffeine!

// Two things you can help me with:

#1 – Please keep praying/sending positive thoughts into the universe about my job situation… it’s still stressful for me right now because time is going by so quickly and every once in a while I realize how long I’ve been unemployed and this makes me a bit anxious! 

#2 – Follow me on Instagram (if you aren’t doing so already!) This way I can follow you back and have more pretty pictures on my feed! Win-win (or maybe just I win… either way, it would make me happy.)

Well, that about sums it all up. 

Tell me…

What’s on your mind this week!?

Cheers to hump day!

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