It is no secret that Tim and I met online, but I haven’t talked about it in a while, so I thought I’d go ahead and bring it up again, since it’s now been over four years ago.
FOUR YEARS?! Wow. Let me just take a second to digest that.
How life has changed since those September days in 2010 when we were messaging back and forth… Truthfully, I love reading through our old messages. Sometimes Tim will send me a blurb of a conversation we had via Google Chat in the early days and it just cracks me up. Honestly, I wish I would have saved more of them, but I have a habit of deleting ‘evidence’, which I guess included all of our old e-mails, too. Whoops! But Tim was able to find our first message exchange from the online dating site we ‘met’ on (OKCupid) and it’s pretty darn funny and I can’t believe we ended up together at all. Also, evidently I didn’t believe in capitalization in 2010. Whoops.
What we always tell people about how we met is that
1) I messaged Tim first.
2) Our relationship is built on lies because I decided to message him under false pretenses (more on this in a bit).
Everyone attempts to look their best in online profiles, right?! Luckily, mine is long gone, but we found Tim’s profile and (with his permission) I thought I’d just re-write it to what it should have said, if we’re being honest. (My edits are in bold)
“I am a positive and semi-active person who was raised to enjoy the experiences in life. I have played hockey since age four and love staying active and attempting different sports, but actually I mainly prefer to sit on the couch and watch movies. I moved downtown in October and so far have played in Dodgeball, Kickball, Ping Pong, and Volleyball leagues, and all that will end this year, as I plan on spending my time working a ton and socializing a bit less.
I will go to any live event – sporting, concerts, comedy, etc if someone else plans it. I’m really not a great planner, if we’re being honest. I can drink wine, whiskey, or beer (but when I do, I get pretty hungover the next day, so it’s best if we don’t make plans afterwards) and if I am going out I prefer a sports/dive bar over the club scene.
I am looking for someone with similar qualities – a positive, energetic, and social person who likes to get out and try new things. Someone active and fit who would enjoy a run or bike ride down the lake shore path. Someone educated who can have a conversation and knows the difference between your and you’re. Someone diverse enough to stay in, go to a wine tasting, beer garden, street party, casino, pretty much someone who can go with the flow.”
See the sentence I underlined?! That sentence was why I emailed Tim and also why I now consider him to be a liar. I took the sentence: “Someone active and fit who would enjoy a run or bike ride down the lake shore path” to mean that Tim is active and fit and runs and rides his bike often on the lakefront path. In my first message to him I told him that I spend almost all of my time running on that path, which was very true, because I was marathon training!
However, what Tim meant by this statement was: “I would love to date someone with a great body who will spend her morning outdoors running around so I can sleep in peace.”
Of course, if he would have stated that, I would never have messaged him, we wouldn’t have met, drank martinis, gotten married, had a baby… you get the picture.
A year after we met, still going strong in 2011!
So do I think lying on online dating sites is a good idea? I mean, I guess!
But after reading through Tim’s profile, I can’t help but notice everything he left out. He didn’t say that he enjoys ridiculous dancing, especially at weddings. He didn’t mention that he’s incredibly smart and obsessed with all things technological. He didn’t write that he’s hilarious and kind and loyal. He didn’t specify that he loves fiercely and couldn’t wait to start a family. He didn’t brag that he would do anything for a friend or family member or even a stranger, even though that’s very true.
It’s a good thing he had a good profile picture and mentioned working out, because I messaged him without even knowing his best characteristics, and here we are today, four years later.
It’s funny how life works out.
And it all started with lies on his part and a super-lame online message (on my part).
So I guess I’d urge those online-daters out there to give people a chance, and don’t be afraid to message that cute guy/gal first, you never know what can happen if you just say ‘hello!’
I must confess, a chocolate company led me down this path of thinking about all the great things that can come from a simple ‘hello’.
Thank you to Lindt for sponsoring today’s post and inspiring me to try Lindt HELLO!
It turns out, I’m not the only one who thinks saying ‘hello’ can lead to all sorts of greatness, the new Lindt HELLO chocolate collection is all about inspiring social connections and conversations, which I love. I really feel like the sponsoring gods have smiled upon me lately… I mean, first I got to try mac & cheese and now I get to try chocolate?! HECK YES. I tried the caramel brownie chocolate bar, and while it didn’t really remind me of brownies, per se, it did taste like milk chocolate, caramel, gooey, hazelnut deliciousness, and I shall be going out to buy several more bars. I can’t wait to try the cookies & cream bar.
Definitely check out the”It Started With Hello” web-series, co-produced by Ashley Tisdale, to see how a simple ‘hello’ can make a difference.
And if you’re into free stuff/experiences (OBVIOUSLY), go check out the sweepstakes page, where you could win a shopping spree, a staycation, or even a spa day!
I’m actually taking this whole ‘say hello’ advice into other areas of my life (other than dating/marriage, that is)… lately I’ve struggled with meeting moms, especially stay at home moms, and am trying to put myself out there more. I kind of wish I could just create an online friendship profile… but alas, I have to make more of an effort in person, I guess! My goal is to approach more people, say ‘hello’ and see where it goes. But then I also need to be ‘brave’ enough to set-up get togethers and that sort of thing, and it really just isn’t in my comfort zone.
Wish me luck.
Are you good at starting new friendships at your current stage in life?