I hope everyone had a wonderful Mother’s Day this past weekend! Whether you’re a mom or you have a mom or you have a lot of mom friends, I hope you found meaning in the day and were able to celebrate moms in your life, in some way.
Mother’s Day has a special significance to me now that I am a mom, and a stay-at-home mom at that. I won’t say my kids are my whole world, because that sounds cliche, but I will say that I am with them A LOT, and my motherhood role feels all-consuming most days. With a one and two year old at home with me, I am truly in the thick of this mom thing.
And that’s why it’s so important to have a day to celebrate moms, because many of us do feel like we’re in the thick of it. I have learned that being a mom is exhausting and joyful and overwhelming in all of the ways. I’ve also learned that motherhood can feel lonely and isolating.
Even with a great mom community around me, some days it still feel like I’m struggling, or even achieving, and no one notices (or cares). Maybe that’s one of the reasons I love social media and this blog, because I can see other moms doing mom-things and I have an outlet to share some of my own experiences.
Mother’s Day (in my opinion) is about making moms feel seen. It’s about saying “I notice you. You’re doing good and important work, and I know you’re doing the best you can day after day.”
There isn’t a lot of positive acknowledgement in motherhood. Unlike in the corporate world, I don’t receive emails praising my performance of a certain task, I don’t receive bonuses, and I’ll never get promoted. Plus, this project doesn’t have a deadline!
But I still try my hardest. Even if all heck breaks loose one morning, I still try to make it to an appointment or play date on time. I change diapers, make breakfasts and lunches and snacks, clean up constantly (only to have a huge mess to clean up again 5 minutes later), calm crying babies, bounce and bounce and bounce some more, take walks, make plans, research preschools/activities/developmental milestones/recipes/ALL OF THE THINGS, keep a family calendar, kiss ‘owies’ comfort and encourage and play… did I mention I clean up messes? There are so many messes.
And that’s just a small portion of the mom stuff, not to mention that I also try to be a wife and friend and an independent being with my own interests. It is a lot of effort with minimal rewards (other than the joy that motherhood innately brings, which I don’t mean to dismiss).
So we get a day in which society says “YAY MOMS! Thanks for all you do!” (Don’t get me started about how society in general is the problem and how it’s ridiculous that we don’t get ANY mandated paid maternity leave and how childcare is the sole responsibility of families, making whether to work or not a non-choice for many moms… I digress.)
I hope you were able to find a way to celebrate the moms in your life over the weekend. I hope you were able to convey the message that you see them and the work they’re doing to raise decent kids, or to just get through the day. Let’s not stop there, though, let’s try to always build one another up and help moms to feel seen right where they are.
Let’s continue to celebrate and empower moms to keep doing this hard, exhausting, necessary work, because the spirit of Mothers’s Day shouldn’t be confined to one day. Moms are so, so important, so let’s keep remembering that for the other 364 days of the year.
Some suggestions to celebrate a mom:
- Make a quick phone call or text to see how she’s doing.
- Drop off a meal if you know she’s having a rough week.
- Inquire about her kids and herself.
- Offer to watch her kids while she runs errands.
- Invite her out for coffee or happy hour.
- Send some small, meaningful gifts or a card.
- Pray for her.
(Sidenote: Let’s remember moms outside of our community, too! ThirdLove will be donating 10% all Mother’s Day Gift Box sales to Every Mother Counts throughout the month of May, so if you’ve thought about purchasing something from them, now would be a great time!)