I want to tell you about my favorite day of last week.
It was Wednesday – the most magical day. I scheduled a doctor appointment so Tim stayed home from work to help with Isabelle, and Clara was at preschool. This means I went to the doctor appointment by myself! I spoke in full sentences!
While I was there, my ND (Naturopathic Doctor) mentioned I should get my blood drawn. I was going to make another appointment to get that done, and then realized I didn’t have any kids with me! I could do anything! I was unstoppable! So I sat in the waiting room for 10 minutes and felt so blissfully relaxed. Then I had to do a breath test which required me drinking a yucky citrus drink and waiting 15 minutes… and guys… this was the best news. I was able to sit in a waiting room IN SILENCE, and read for an extra 15 glorious minutes.
Then I picked up Clara from preschool and we went to Target by ourselves! We never, ever run errands together so Clara thought she was in heaven and the whole outing was so easy with only one kid! (I really need to get out of the house more.) I truly felt like I was living my best life.
Is my bar too low?! Yes, yes it is. Clearly.
But it really was the best day. And then that night we threw a baby ‘sprinkle’ for a friend and I felt like myself again. Like my pre-baby self. Not spending all day with my kids meant I had energy to socialize. I laughed a lot, I felt like my brain was actually working, I felt like me.
This whole day/night made me realize that being with my kids full time may not be the best decision for me anymore. It’s something Tim and I have been talking about for a few weeks, but basically I feel like I’m no longer myself. I think all moms can probably relate to this to a certain extent. I used to be fun, I used to be witty, I used to have energy to spare… and being a SAHM has left me feeling depleted and sad and unmotivated.
So, we’ll see what we decide to do going forward! It’s always a balancing act, and I’ve been praying a lot about making the best choice for myself and for my family.
I hope you’re having a great start to your (holiday!) week!