This post is about our dog, because he’s clearly starved for attention. (eye roll).

Since I’m the worst dog owner ever (sad but true) I tend to neglect this little Monster of ours on this blog. Mainly because he’s just not all that photogenic, darn it! 

But, I do love the little Monster, and I figure he deserves his time to shine! So, without further ado, I give to you…

12 Things You Most Definitely Probably Don’t Know About Ozzie:

  • He doesn’t like salmon-flavored anything. Once we made the mistake of buying a bag of salmon-flavored food, and the little Monster got sad every time we fed him. He still ate his food, of course, but not with the same enthusiasm he eats his chicken flavored kibble. High maintenance/picky eater dog, indeed.
  • He is obsessed with tug of war. And he’s really friggen good at it.
  • He’s also great at fetch. He fully understands the whole ‘I’m supposed to get this toy and bring it back to my owner’ thing. This makes us especially proud at dog parks when we watch other dogs run after the ball, pick it up, and then quickly run away from their owners. The whole thing is more like a game of tag than a retrieving type game, really. Not with Ozzie, though! He runs after the ball/toy and brings it right back to us, every single time.
  • Practically anything on TV makes him super anxious. If Ozzie hears or sees any sort of animal, he attempts to lunge through the TV to get at the offender. He’s equally annoyed by any sport involving a ball or anything fast moving. Horse racing is especially painful to watch when Ozzie is around.
  • Whenever an ambulance passes by, he howls like a wolf beagle. It is so, so cute.
  • He’s super protective when the Husband isn’t around. I’m not sure why he’s like this, but if the Husband isn’t home, Ozzie will sleep in bed with me and randomly start barking in the middle of the night when he even THINKS he hears a noise. It scares the crap out of me. When the Husband is home, Ozzie doesn’t wake us up at all.
  • He can’t roll on his back. Or he just refuses to do it. Either way, we can’t get him to roll-over.
  • His favorite pastime (besides eating) is to sit on the back of the couch (like a cat) and stare out the window. He’s actually doing it right now, as I type this.

‘Oh hello, guest. I’ll just sit up here and bark at everything that goes by on this busy street. And I might lick your face. Don’t mind me.’

  • He was named after the term Aussie, because his original owners were Australian (but he’s only ever lived in the good ole USA). We didn’t name him. I wanted two dogs – Peebee & Jay. My dreams were shattered when this dog came with a name!
  • He can kind of swim, which we only know because he managed to fall into a pool at a friend’s house. He was fine until it was time to try to get out of the pool… Poor little guy is bottom heavy and as soon as he goes vertical to pull himself out, he sinks like a rock. Luckily, the Husband was lifeguarding supervising and we got him out.
  • He is the worst guard dog ever. THE WORST. If he hears a noise in our apartment, he barks at the front door. If he hears a noise on the street, he barks at the front door (the opposite direction in our apartment from the street), if he hears my stomach growl, he barks at the door. I’m not even joking… Any noise, and this dog is barking in the opposite direction from where the noise is actually coming from. 
  • He has no loyalty to us whatsoever. We can leave him with absolutely anyone and he never acts out of character or sad at all while we’re gone. He eats normally, he sleeps normally…. it’s really quite sad for us.


Well, I hope this little post has earned me some dog-owner cred. I’ll ask Ozzie if he would like to add anything and maybe he can guest write a post later this week. I’m not sure how that will work though, because I’m not going to give him wine, and we all know that blog posts cannot be written without a glass (or eight) of wine.

Cheers to puppy love!

Follow me on… Twitter | Bloglovin’ | Instagram

This entry was posted in pets and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.