I am totally winning at this mom thing today.

The day started out so well. We had plans to go to a friend’s house so I got the girls ready and we were just sitting around waiting to walk out the door… I am never early for anything so I should have known that I was forgetting something.

Like, did I ask Clara if she had to go potty before we left? No.
Did I remember my thermos of tea? No.
Did I change Isabelle’s diaper one last time? No. (But in my defense, she was sleeping so I didn’t want to wake her up to do it.)

Of course, Isabelle woke up as soon as we got in the car and started screaming nonstop for the 15 minute car ride. Clara kept yelling that she had to go potty but this is typical behavior for her so I asked her if she could hold it and I drove on.

I’m sure you can guess the outcome. As soon as we walked in our friend’s house I saw that Clara had peed in her pants. Isabelle was still screaming. And then I looked down and realized I was wearing slippers. Good grief. So in our friend’s doorway I started taking off Clara’s wet clothes and putting her in a new outfit. Then I decided to change Isabelle who (it turns out) had pooped through her outfit. Thank goodness I had changes of clothes for both of my little ladies because we were a hot mess. And I was forced to explain to our lovely host that I don’t always wear slippers out of the house. Good grief. Thankfully, she’s a mom and gets it.

The rest of the morning consisted of Isabelle screaming for what felt like four hours straight and Clara running around like a crazy person – barefoot (because she refuses to wear shoes). I guzzled coffee while my friend comforted my screaming little person. Clara had to go potty no less than five times while we were there and Isabelle ate two or three times. We all managed to eat lunch – but by ‘we all’ I mean that the moms fed the little ones and didn’t actually eat anything. It was at that point that I remembered I hadn’t eaten breakfast yet.

By the time we left their house it was hours past Clara’s naptime, I noticed Isabelle had a sunburn on one side of her face, and I realized that my friend and I had yet to actually have, much less finish, a real conversation.

This is what mom life is like – a bunch of half finished conversations that are had over the yelled requests of toddlers and screaming requests of newborns and empty mugs of coffee that are being filled up with grass by toddlers in the backyard where the chaos is all happening…

Of course, both kids fell asleep in the car on the way home and I do not mess with sleep so I put Clara in her crib with her jacket on. Hopefully she sleeps for a long, long while. Until then, I’m off to make myself some lunch and pray that Isabelle continues sleeping during Clara’s nap.

This is just a season, right? At some point my kids won’t need help peeing and they won’t need me to carry around a change of outfits everywhere and they’ll sleep at regular intervals and I won’t need to constantly whip my boobs out of my shirt and I’ll be able to converse with another human being in full sentences without being interrupted…?

A mom can dream.

Feel free to send over coffee and a masseuse. Thanks.