I’m letting the dogs take over the blog today, mainly because they’re far more entertaining than I could ever hope to be. As I’ve made it known, I’m not-so-patiently waiting for the Husband to agree to adopt another dog. So far, he’s not budging, but that’s not stopping Ozzie from taking applications for his new brother / best friend!
Today Ozzie is interviewing Floyd, who currently belongs to one of my favorite bloggers, Sarah! Now, Sarah didn’t actually know Floyd was in the running to be kidnapped adopted by me, but I’m sure she doesn’t mind…
How do you think your owners would describe you?
Floyd: Handsome, dashing, adorable, hot stuff, snuggly, never obstinate or stubborn and always up for playing.
Ozzie: Wow, that’s really awesome that your owners would describe you so nicely, Floyd! My owners say things to me that I’m fairly certain I can’t repeat, much less publish on the internet. But, when they’re in better moods (like after they’ve eaten) they tell me I’m funny, a lightening-fast runner, happy, and cute in a ‘so ugly I’m cute’ sort of way. I don’t really think that last part is a compliment, but I’ll take what I can get – I guess. They also mention from time to time that I have no loyalty, simply because I love everyone and don’t play favorites. They’re really hard to please, you know.
What do your owners do that you find especially annoying?
Floyd: Oh brother…don’t tell them I told you this BUT I reallllly hate when they wake me up when I’m sleeping to kiss me! Haven’t they heard, ‘let sleeping dogs lie’?! I mean it’s a saying for a reason people! I grunt and groan whenever they do but it doesn’t deter them. I think it actually encourages them. “Oh Floyd you are so sweet and sleepy and snuggly and warm’ yeah yeah…get off me.
Ozzie: I hear ya, Floyd. My owners wake me up just to make sure I’m alive sometimes. I don’t know what part of ‘I’m sleeping for 12 hours straight and don’t want to be woken up’ they don’t understand. I also get annoyed when my owners try to move me to the foot of their bed instead of right between them, where I prefer to sleep. What do they think I am, chopped liver?!
What do you like to do on a day off?
Floyd: A day off would be such a treat! I work all day, every day with my business partner NTT (night time teddy) and it is non stop business plus in the evenings I have to take my owners for a walk. I can’t catch a break. So if I did, I would love to spend the day sunbathing on the back porch while someone fanned me and fed me spoonfuls of peanut butter. And rubbed my belly. And then made me a whole chicken to eat.
Ozzie: I agree, Floyd, I don’t know what a day off would even feel like. I spend all day every day watching for danger out the apartment windows. And there is a LOT of danger out there that the owners don’t seem to understand. I bark and I bark but all they do is yell at me and tell me to get off the couch. They’re really ungrateful of my efforts. If I could spend all day outside – sniffing every single blade of grass – and eating nothing but peanut butter, I’d be a happy guy dog.
What is your favorite meal?
Floyd: This is tough but I think it would be some sort of combination of a steak covered in peanut butter and scrambled eggs wrapped in a rotisserie chicken. And popcorn. Lots of popcorn.
Ozzie: My owners refuse to feed me people food (with the exception of peanut butter) because they are cruel. All I know is that I don’t like salmon flavored anything. Who the heck makes salmon flavored dog food?! I’m not a bear, for Pete’s sake.
How would you describe your owners?
Floyd: Well, they are great but sometimes they are very invasive. They are always lovin on me, rubbin me and kissin on me. I mean I guess that isn’t half bad but, c’mon guys, a guy needs his space some times. But also they give me lots of doggie food and peanut butter so I guess they aren’t half bad.
Ozzie: Well my owners are clearly not as awesome as Floyd’s, but they’re alright, I guess. I mean they play fetch with me, they walk me, and sometimes they remember to feed me. I wish they fed me 18 times a day, but evidently that’s not in the cards for me.
Who is your favorite, your ‘mom’ or ‘dad’?
Floyd: This is a hard one, Oz! I like them both for their own reasons. Papa is really good at rough housing with me (when I’m in the mood that is) and Mama is great for snuggling. Her legs are the best for bird nesting in at night under the covers. Papa and I do lots of yard work and boy stuff and Mama and I are really good in the kitchen together, I’m basically a certified sous chef and gardener, among my other job titles of course.
Ozzie: My ‘mom’ is definitely the more awesome ‘parent’ because it was her idea that I should be allowed to sleep in the bed with them even when ‘dad’ said it wouldn’t be such a great idea. I get the impression that what mama wants, mama gets. Also, she’s a way messier eater, so I love to pretend to snuggle next to her when really I’m just waiting for her to drop something so I can get a little food variety in my life, you know?
Do you have any special skills or talents that you would like to share?
Floyd: Funny you should ask. I have SO many it’s hard to keep track, I wear a lot of hats. I’d say the most important ones I have are; neighborhood watch dog, sous chef, dishwasher, gardener, co-pilot, laundry sorter and DIY supervisor.
Ozzie: You sound really talented Floyd! I also excel as a neighborhood watch dog. I even chase innocent looking things like children and strollers, just to ensure they’re not up to no good. You know? I’m also great at sleeping. Oh! And I’m great at playing catch, especially with tennis balls. The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced I’m completely under-appreciated.
OK, well I think this settles it, we’re going to have to steal Floyd and adopt him as Ozzie’s brother. I think they’d get along famously, don’t you agree!?!
The only problem is that Floyd actually seems to like his parents, and may object to moving to Chicago and having a long-distance relationship with them.
Dogs are so high-maintenance.
For now I guess Sarah can keep him, although if she keeps posting pics of him in those bow ties it’s pretty much like she’s asking for him to get stolen. Just sayin’.
But seriously… Sarah and her blog (Total Basset Case) are fantastic, Floyd is awesome, and you should follow their exploits, if you aren’t already!
Cheers to (wo)man’s best friend!