There isn’t a lot of TV being watched in our house right now, but one show that Tim and I enjoy watching is Amazing Race. I love seeing all of the different places, and I love watching the couples interact with each other. There’s nothing like some trashy reality TV to teach me a few things about relationships, right?! This season is especially interesting because half the teams are comprised of couples who met the moment they were placed on a team with the other person. Suffice it to say, there is definitely a lot of relationship drama going on this season and it made me think about a few things…
I Learned Reinforced by the Amazing Race:
| Forgive mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes, and it’s best to get over any idea of perfectionism and realize that both you and your partner are going to make mistakes at some point. Dwelling on past mistakes can only serve to build resentment, and is not a productive use of time and energy.
| Support each other. At different points in time, someone might be the weaker link in the relationship ‘team’, and it’s important to support one another in that time. We all have different God-given skills and talents, and it’s important that we use these skills to build one another up, especially if it’s in an area that our signficant other is weaker in.
| Be respectful. At different points while we’re watching the show, Tim and I will wonder aloud whether a contestant realizes how awful they are acting. But, if we’re being honest, I’m sure we all have moments in our relationship that we would be mortified by if it was made public. Ideally, we should all respect each other in private as we do in public. This means no name calling, no eye rolling, no mean sarcastic/snarky comments. I fail at this more than I care to admit, but when I see other people (on TV) do this, it makes me realize how ugly the behavior truly is.
| Communicate, communicate, communicate! Unfortunately, people can’t read minds, so we need to tell our loved one what we want and need and are feeling. It’s also important to communicate things we’re doing and thinking about, so that both parties are on the same page. I often find that misunderstandings Tim and I have could be easily avoided if one (or both) of us had communicated a bit better.
| Apologize. A lot of healing can begin when a genuine apology is given. Even if the other person seems to be over-reacting, if you think you did something wrong, it’s best to apologize so you can move forward as a couple.
| Don’t be afraid to try new things and embrace the unknown. A lot of fun can be had by experiencing somethng new together! This might mean traveling, trying new food, going on an adventure, eating new foods, learning a new skill, etc!
| Remember that you’re on the same team. High stress (like trying to win a million dollars!) can bring out the ugly in people. Unfortunately, sometimes it isn’t possible to avoid high stress situations, but it is important to remember that you and your spouse are on the same team and can handle adversity better together. It’s easy to take out a bad day on the other person, but that’s never a productive way to deal with an already rough situation. Even though it might be difficult, it’s best to treat each other well even in the midst of of a not-so-stellar mood.
Do you watch The Amazing Race? Do you watch a TV show that makes you really think about your own relationship?