My husband and I don’t need to choose to be together.

The Husband and I have been married for 500+ days, officially. Not that I’m counting or anything.

taking the plunge wedding

And I won’t say we have this marriage thing figured out, nor do I think we ever will.

We’re figuring out what works for us, and that’s honestly the best I think we’ll ever do.

I do feel like we’ve put in the effort.

We’ve read great books. We’ve gone to thought-provoking conferences and seminars.

We’ve had great counsel from other couples.

We are a part of a small group of married couples from our church that meets once a week to discuss a multitude of topics around Christianity.

I actually think we’ve set ourselves up pretty well for success in this whole thing.

Because our marriage is our number one priority, I’m happy to say.

I’ve already talked about my favorite part of marriage (grace), but there’s another aspect of marriage I really enjoy, too.

I like that we don’t (need to) choose to be together every day.

When I wake up, I don’t necessarily always want to be with the Husband. Sometimes he’s annoying the crap out of me I’m mad at him. There are days when I don’t want to deal with the ‘issues’ that he brings to the table. And I’m quite sure he doesn’t want to deal with the whole host of issues I bring to the table all of the time!

But we don’t have the choice.

We deal with each other’s ‘stuff’ because we vowed to.

Because we love each other and decided a long time ago (and made it official 500 days ago) that not dealing with things wasn’t going to be an option. When we said our vows we proclaimed in front of our community that leaving wasn’t ever going to be a choice.

I may sleep in the guest bedroom occasionally, but I’m not going to go out that front door.

Neither one of us are making any ultimatums that involve the d-word.

Some couples think that choosing to be together (living together without the commitment of marriage) every day is romantic.

I think that notion is fraught with complications and unspoken ultimatums and this idea that we always have to live up to someone’s expectations, lest they decide they don’t want to be with us anymore.

The idea of a daily commitment might be romantic sounding (in theory), but is it that romantic in practice? Personally, I think the idea of commitment is the most romantic notion, as opposed to the idea that a person could change their mind but has chosen not to on any particular day.

taking the plunge wedding

Nope, the Husband and I don’t wake up each day and choose to be together.

We made that decision one time (to last forever) and it was 500 days ago.

Now we’re simply stuck together for better or worse. And on 99% of the days, it’s better. 

There is no one, absolutely no one, who makes me happier than my husband.

If Baby B is a boy, I hope he has the same kind, gentle, strong, fun, and generous spirit that his dad possesses and displays daily. 

And if Baby B is a girl I just know she’s going to be a daddy’s girl who will quickly realize that no guy will ever be able to outshine her father.

And that makes my heart so, so very happy. 

500+ days ago, I married the right one.

(Thank goodness I locked that shit down so he can never choose to live without me!)


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